Embracing Your Inner Critic

You know what it’s like, that voice in your head saying you are not good enough.  We have all been there.

🙋‍♀️The time I was first promoted and had to manage people (who were my friends) for the first time

🙋‍♀️The time I accepted a new job and found that I had a massive challenge ahead of me setting up a completely new business unit

🙋‍♀️The time I decided to leave a good job and regular income to do an MBA full time

🙋‍♀️The time I invested in my own business for the first time

🙋‍♀️The time I started a new business in a completely different industry, as a result of Covid.

But I carried on regardless.  It didn’t all go to plan by a long shot but I have no regrets as everything that went wrong and all the mistakes that I made were steps in my learning and built resilience.

Life is a risk; business ownership more so.

Combatting Imposter Syndrome

We are always told to silence our inner critic; yet business owners (especially women) despite their successes can be the ones most likely to cite imposter syndrome.

Your inner critic didn’t appear from nowhere.  It was shaped by early life experiences, social conditioning and work culture. It is there to protect you, not sabotage you.

Imposter syndrome is rarely external. More often, it’s the deeply programmed patterns in our minds, beliefs formed years ago that quietly limit our potential.

I have learnt more about this through my support of female founders who have exited the corporate world, many of whom were burnt out and unhappy with the male dominated environment that they worked in,

I have been very lucky

🧡I went to a Montessori Nursery School and my mum, despite her lack of education decided to train in the Montessori method and then to run her own Montessori Nursery School; where children are encouraged to make choices and pursue their interests which builds self-efficacy - a belief in one's ability to succeed.

🧡My dad was the first in his family to go to university and studied physics, going on to do teacher training; and gave me a lot of support when I was doing my O and A Levels.

🧡Both my parents attended the School of Economic Science when I was young where they studied Eastern Philosophy which they practiced at home, much to my embarrassment when I had friends come and visit!

It was not a conventional childhood.  I was brought up to call my parents by their first names (another source of embarrassment), but it was a very supportive one.

Is it time to silence your inner critic (or talk to it)?

I work with a lot of female founders who are really hard on themselves.  They don’t see how far they have come, instead focusing on the things that have not gone to plan, the mistakes they have made.  Often this can be traced back to their early experiences at work where failures were ridiculed.

Recent research in neuroscience suggests that the inner critic is protective and developed to shield us from further harm; adopting the voice of caregiver, coach or culture that demands perfection.

In its own misguided way, the critic believes it’s keeping us out of danger: social danger, reputational risk, emotional vulnerability. For example, if you were teased for speaking up in class, it may now try to “help” by shaming you into silence during meetings. It believes that if it can catch your flaws first, no one else will. If it keeps you doubting, you’ll never risk too much, and therefore never feel the sting of failure, embarrassment, or rejection.

If you are struggling with your own inner critic, here’s how you can train it to become your partner:

➡️ Think about its origin - when did you first hear its voice?

➡️ Consider what it is trying to prevent and address that fear

➡️ Ask it why if feels you are not ready for that next step in your business

➡️ Practise self compassion

➡️ Change the script from critic to advisor

By leading your inner critic instead of trying to silence it, you can make peace with it and change the way you lead yourself.

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