A few years ago, I read Strong Female Lead by Arwa Mahdawi, and one phrase at the end of the book stayed with me: “If we want a better world, it’s time to woman up.” I loved the play on the familiar expression “man up” but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered what we actually mean when we talk about strong leadership, particularly when we are talking about women.

Perhaps the problem isn't that women aren't strong enough. Perhaps we've simply been using too narrow a definition of what strength looks like. What do we actually mean by a strong leader? This is where Strong Female Lead really made me think. Mahdawi contrasts different models of leadership and uses Jacinda Ardern as an example of someone who challenged the traditional idea of what a powerful leader should look like.

Ardern was often contrasted with Donald Trump, particularly during the Covid pandemic. The contrast wasn't simply about their politics. It was about the way leadership itself was being presented. Ardern's approach was associated with empathy, compassion, collaboration and an acknowledgement that leadership doesn't mean having all the answers. Trump became an archetype of a very different style of leadership: confidence, certainty, dominance and an unwillingness to show vulnerability.

Of course, this isn't about saying that one person represents all women and another represents all men. That would be far too simplistic. What it made me question was why we have traditionally treated some qualities as strong leadership qualities and others as weaknesses.

☑️Confidence is good. But what about self-awareness?

☑️Decisiveness is important. But what about listening?

Having a clear vision matters, but so is being willing to change your mind when the evidence tells you that you should and perhaps most importantly, why do we sometimes confuse confidence with competence? We don't necessarily need women to learn to lead more like men. Perhaps we need to broaden our definition of what good leadership looks like for everyone.

Do Women Need Female Role Models?

Another theme in Mahdawi's book is the importance of role models. She talks about Jodie Whittaker becoming the first female Doctor Who and the significance of her being a role model for girls. I remember thinking: why “for girls”? Why isn't a successful woman simply a role model? This distinction matters.

More recent research into female entrepreneurship suggests that women don't necessarily look at a successful female entrepreneur and think, I want to be exactly like her. Instead, they take different things from different people. One person might provide proof that something is possible, another might give you an idea and someone else might demonstrate a way of working that feels right for you. And occasionally, a role model can be useful because you look at what they are doing and think, That's definitely not how I want to do it. A role model doesn't have to provide a blueprint. Sometimes they simply provide permission to imagine something different.

Female Founders

Being a female founder is different to a woman becoming CEO of an established organisation as they are stepping into an existing structure; whereas a founder is creating the structure herself. She decides:

☑️How ambitious she wants to be

☑️How quickly she wants to grow. whether she wants outside investment.

☑️Who she employs.

☑️What sort of culture she wants to create.

☑️How much of her life she wants the business to consume.

☑️And ultimately, what success means to her.

Yet the entrepreneurial world still tends to celebrate a fairly narrow version of success: rapid growth, investment, huge teams, long hours and constant expansion. There is nothing wrong with ambition. I have certainly had my share of it but perhaps there is another question we should be asking:

What if successful entrepreneurship doesn't have to look the same for everyone?

I didn't start out trying to be a “strong female founder” When I co-founded my first business, we didn't have a big investment round behind us. We invested our own money. We started in a small office and did pretty much everything ourselves. As the business gained traction, we gradually built the team and infrastructure around it. We weren't following a prescribed model of what a successful female founder should look like. We were simply trying to build a good business.

Eventually, that business grew to around £8m in turnover, with a team of 25. Looking back, the best part of founding your own business is you make the rules. I think that is one of the opportunities female founders have today. Not simply to gain a seat at the table, but to decide what kind of table they want to build.

We are often told that women need more confidence.

☑️More confidence to ask for investment.

☑️More confidence to negotiate.

☑️More confidence to put themselves forward.

☑️More confidence to take risks.

Of course, confidence can be helpful but newer research into women's entrepreneurship is beginning to question whether constantly telling women to “fix” their confidence puts too much responsibility on the individual.

If a woman is struggling to access funding, doesn't have the right network, is carrying caring responsibilities or is working within an entrepreneurial culture perhaps the answer isn't simply to tell her to be more confident. Perhaps she needs better support, better networks. better access to capital and better role models.

And perhaps she also needs the freedom to build a business that works for her rather than constantly trying to conform to somebody else's definition of entrepreneurial success. Let's rethink “woman up” and redefine what it means. It doesn't have to mean becoming harder, louder, more competitive or more like the traditional stereotype of a leader.

It could mean having the courage to decide what kind of leader you want to be:. To build a business your way. That may be being ambitious without believing that ambition has to mean sacrificing everything else. to create a culture that reflects your values. It may mean knowing when to ask for help. It could mean recognising that you don't have to know everything. Most importantly it means understanding that being a successful founder doesn't mean becoming indispensable to your business.

Perhaps the next generation of female founders don't need to become “strong female leaders”. Perhaps they simply need the opportunity to become strong leaders who happen to be women. That's the real value of having more women as role models - not because women need women to show them how to lead but because seeing someone who looks like you build something that you once thought was beyond your reach can make you think: Maybe I could do that too; and then you get to decide what your version of “that” looks like. That, to me, is a much more interesting definition of leadership.

About the Author

Sarah is a business founder, MBA graduate and coach who has built and scaled businesses to over £8 million in revenue with teams of up to 25.. She now helps ambitious founders gain clarity, build motivated teams and create businesses that support the life they want to lead.

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☑️Recruit the right people first time so they fit with your core business values.

☑️Motivate your team and communicate effectively so they consistently deliver beyond expectations

☑️Step back from the day job and replace yourself with your team.